Controlled by Love

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(This is the ending to ‘My Girlfriend’s Brother’)

18+ Control, manipulation, non-consensual, sexually explicit, strong language.


I try to stand and fail spectacularly. Fuck, why do gay men do this to themselves. Ben confiscates my phone when I start googling hitmen. At least the bastard has a satisfying look of shame on his face as he helps me to my feet and supports me into the shower. I didn’t ask him to join me. My face is scarlet as I turn away from him. Being this close to a naked guy in a shower. Every straight guy’s worst nightmare? Or is it being sodomised in a public toilet? I shake my head in misery.

Ben’s leaning against the shower wall in amusement, watching me. I grip my stomach as I wince and hunch. Everything fucking hurts. I feel nauseous but it’s probably the aftereffects of alcohol and whatever else I was slipped. I feel pitiful.

“I wore a condom. I can’t be the father.”

My eyes slowly turn to glare at him as I stop gripping my stomach. I have no sense of humour at the moment. He really has messed up my insides and it throbs deep inside. As I wash, I notice his teeth marks on my ribs. The fucker has actually bit me. I glare at him. “What kind of savage are you?”

He grins as he leans in to kiss me. I instantly raise a finger in warning for him to stay back. I would kill a kitten if it licked me at the moment. I’m never having sex with him again, and I tell him as much. He makes the mistake of suggesting I’ll get used to it. I push him out the shower and tell him to fuck off. He’s lucky his expensive shower head is fixed into the ceiling or he would be wearing it.

I let the water run over me. Knowing this is self-induced is not helping my mood. I wish I could erase the humiliation that it was me who kissed him first. I swear never to touch alcohol again. It takes a lot of will power and a colourful array of curses, but I’m dressed. Even my leg muscles ache when I walk. I feel like some sadist bastard has chained me to a treadmill for fucking hours. I sigh as I take in my surroundings. Why does a single guy need four bedrooms?

My eyes widen in awe as I walk into his open living, dining, kitchen area with its high vaulted ceiling. His blue eyes are watching me. If I’d spent the night with a woman, I’d wander across and hug her. Tell her she was wonderful. Him? My eyes narrow. I just want to throw something at ‘him.’ I drag my wayward eyes from his attractive half naked body as I turn to look the other way.

His oak dining table seats twelve. I look out the window. I discover a massive wrap around balcony. It has a pretty decent view over the river below. “What floor is this?”

“Thirteen. It’s the penthouse.” I shrug indifferently, but I’m impressed. He walks over and stands beside me. He asks if I want coffee and I shake my head.

I glance at him. Who is this guy! Almost three fucking years we were friends and I’m beginning to realise I know nothing about him. Out of curiosity I wander into the kitchen and open his fridge. It’s empty except for some orange juice. I tut and shake my head disapprovingly before I drink it.

He leans on the worktop beside me. “I’ll buy you breakfast.”

“No.” I slam the fridge shut. I frown at him. “If you have a place like this. Why would you want to move back in with your parents?”

His smile breaks into a grin. “You.” He edges closer. “I wanted to spend more time with you, and you were practically living there.”

Is he for real? I step away as he tries to touch my hair. What deranged clown moves back to their parents to beguile their sister’s boyfriend. I shake my head. His actions could be perceived as romantic. If you could exclude the month of mental torture and the physical pain I’m in at the moment. I try to glare but my cheeks blush at his outlandish admission and I turn away. “I want to go home.”

We don’t speak in the car. When he pulls up, I inform him I don’t want to see him again. He’s had his one-night stand. We are done. He says nothing. He doesn’t even look at me as I get out the car. I look at him before I shut the door. I’m still struggling with the fact we had sex. My cheeks redden as he glances at my hesitation. As he opens his mouth to speak, I quickly slam the door shut and walk away. It’s over.

Tony drops off my stuff. He comments on my fragile state which I pass off as just a hangover. He assumes the visible marks on my neck are from a girl. I neither confirm nor deny it. He has a date, so I’m relieved he doesn’t stay long. He gives me a considering look as he heads to the door. “Rough one-night stand?”

I nod and growl. “He was a fucking savage.”

Tony laughs as he steps outside. “I’ve met a few of those.” He waves bye, then I see the jolt of realisation. Fuck. I admitted it was a ‘he.’ I quickly close the door as I see him turn. I sigh in relief as his outline retreats down the path.

I throw myself face down on my bed. I feel casino şirketleri emotionally and physically fucked. I glance at my phone. Ben hasn’t messaged, but then how could he, I still have him blocked. I close my eyes then immediately open them. Am I ready to go down this rabbit hole? I feel my pulse quicken as I hyperventilate, my body feels uncomfortably warm. I close my eyes.

I vividly remember the warmth of his breathy gasps on my neck and the upward jolts of my body. The force of his cock pounding me up against the wall. The feeling of him, a man, inside me. I remember being afraid, bastard, I told him to stop. I wince, but I didn’t completely hate it. He didn’t hold back. His merciless, forceful physical lust. I could barely stand against it. No woman has ever exerted such a desperate need to have me. My face reddens as I remember his hand gripping my hair and pulling my head back. I feel myself getting aroused. Fuck what is wrong with me. Why don’t I hate it?

I roll on to my back. I didn’t like it when he abandoned me immediately after fucking me though. That was cold. Was he maybe in shock with what happened? It’s not like we planned it. Fuck, why am I justifying his shitty actions. But he didn’t just leave. He came back for me and took me home with him. I touch my chest. And we did more, but I can’t remember. I cover my face with my hands. I probably kissed him and went down on him again. “Aaargh!” Why couldn’t I just have rejected him from the start and been content with Beth. She was right for me.

I sit up. Did he really move back home just to be with me? This is Ben. I know him. It was just sex, nothing more. He only has one-night stands. But his anger and jealousy when I bought Beth flowers. I look at the marks all over my body. They make it impossible for me to be with anyone else. I haven’t seen him act this possessively before. And his outrageous admissions of love.

Fuck, he’s like a drug. I realise I might actually be falling for him. I throw myself back on the bed and reprimand myself. Ben is a spoiled playboy who will say and do anything to get his own way. I have been friends with him long enough to know that. I release my breath in a long deep sigh. I’ve done the right thing telling him I never want to see him again. So why do I feel like I have an empty fucking hole in my life.

When the alarm goes off on Monday morning, I’m in better spirits. Mentally I’ve shoved Friday night in a locked box never to be opened and buried the key. After I shower, I brush my teeth and dress. I wink at my reflection in the mirror as I pick up the car keys and head out the door. I check my GPS as I start the car. It’s not too far of a commute. I frown as I look up at my new place of employment. Familiar? I shrug it off as I climb the front steps and head in. It’s quite a modern looking building. The red-headed receptionist, Amy, is easy on the eye. I remember Ben’s territorial brands have taken me off the market for the present.

Brian, who interviewed me, greets me on arrival and shows me around. I’m flattered as he tells me the CEO instructed him to procure me at any cost. I prove my worth and by 12pm I’ve found three new clients. I head out for lunch with Annie, my new assistant. She’s fifty but she’s cheeky and vivacious and I love her. She knows her stuff and we instantly know we will work well together. As I walk along the riverside it hits me, this is the same area where Ben lives. I almost have an anxiety attack. What if I run into him? Will he get the wrong idea and think I’m stalking him? Surely the chances of meeting him are zero. I assure myself I’m just being unnecessarily paranoid.

When I return at 1pm the CEO introduces himself and at 1.01pm I’ve resigned. Or at least I try to. An amused pair of sparkly blue eyes point out I’m tied into a three-month unbreakable contract. He sits casually behind his desk with an arrogant smirk as he informs me, for the next three months, my ass is his. My hands slam on his desk as I wipe the smug grin off his face. I tell him he is the worst fuck I’ve ever had, and he should get some tips off his sister.

I storm into my office and slam the door. Normally, I leave my office door open so anyone can freely walk in or wave hello on the way past. Now it’s permanently shut so I don’t have to see him. Bastard has fucked me again! I’m baffled as to how this womanising pleasure seeker has his own company. Fucking playboys and their rich daddies! I wonder how Mr Chalmers Snr would feel if he knew his perfect blue-eyed prodigy had fucked a man. Probably buy him an even bigger car. I know the fucker is a spoiled brat who can do no wrong.

I sulk behind my desk as I scrunch some paper and throw it into the hoop stuck to the back of my door. I realise I’m one of those sluts who shagged their boss. Although technically I hadn’t started working for him at the time. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry as I lay my forehead on the desk. Annie walks in and looks at casino firmaları me. “Did the meeting not go well?”

I growl, “I can’t talk about it.”

“I’ll leave you in your cave to brood.” She laughs at me as she closes the door behind her. I pick my head up. Fuck!

At the staff meeting I want the floor to open and swallow me. He’s really pissed at me. I can see the raised eyebrow from Annie as he allocates me an impossible number of tasks with unobtainable time limits. I can tell by his dark look, no matter what I do, it isn’t going to be good enough. Our eyes glower at each other. Bring it on fucker!

Back in my office I walk across to my wall planner and score another day off my sentence. Two months and twenty-nine days to go. Annie sits a box on my desk and informs me the boss has left the building to attend an ‘important meeting.’ Important meeting my ass! I know him, the vain, self-obsessed peacock will be skiving in the gym. I summon every assistant to my office and delegate chores like a whore with the promise of muffins, chocolate, alcohol or sex, just as long as they complete them on time. I will not be sunk by some narcistic playboy who doesn’t know what a full day’s work is.

After two weeks I start leaving my door open again. He’s backed off but I notice when he passes the door, he pretends I don’t exist. And I pretend not to notice how good he looks in a suit. On the few occasions we cross paths he just walks in, leaves the file for a new client he wants me to meet, and walks out. I’m not sure if this indifference is better or worse than the previous month of indecent taunts. It’s just a different kind of torture.

The next day fate deals me a low blow. I have to take a client out to lunch, and I have to go with ‘him.’ A few glasses of wine and we easily slip into our old ways. It feels like we are best friends again as we joke around with the client. We easily win and sign the contract. Ben casually suggests we go out for a drink to celebrate. It’s probably an innocent offer but I say, next time, and escape quickly. I am very conscious that his blue eyes and mischievous smile still have a hold on me.

I return to the office. I’ve turned into one of those types who work all the time because they have no personal life. It is taking me a while to adjust to being single. Sitting at home alone, eating alone, watching television alone, going to bed alone. Rinse and repeat, day after day. He hasn’t gone home either and I pretend not to notice his glance as he walks past my door. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. As I walk home, I realise it’s time to put my petty hostility with Ben in the past and move on.

I attend the next night out and force myself to join the group he is standing with. I need to be able to hold a civilised conversation with my boss like everyone else. I think it’s getting easier. As I return from the toilets, I find Amy our receptionist drunk and in tears and after some persuasion I discover she’s one of Ben’s recent one-night stands. Heartless bastard. I’m tempted to tell her I am too. I hug her and tell her to put it down to experience.

She sips the water I give her. I jokingly wink and say, I hope it was a’ good experience’ and she laughs as she wipes her eyes and tells me it was a very good experience. I feel a tiny pang of jealousy. But I know it’s exactly what I need to hear. As I hug her, we watch him laugh with another female employee. He’s fucking cruel. Not because he says the words ‘I love you’ but because he makes you believe them. He notices me staring at him and smiles. I scowl as I look away. I make sure Amy safely gets in a taxi before I head home myself.

The next day I find a muffin on my desk with a thank you card and our next night out is Amy’s leaving party. I’ve helped her move on. Fuck I wish I could do the same for myself. Should I leave my job too? I look at the scores I’ve crossed off on my planner. My three-month contract ends in a few weeks and I haven’t confirmed if I’m staying longer.

I sit back in my chair in thought. The money is good, and I like the work and my colleagues. It’s just the minor inconvenience that he’s my boss. But what happened between us is in the past. I smile at Annie as she shuts the door and we listen to the tracks we’ve been sent. I turn the music up to get a feel for what kind of ad they are looking for. Annie wraps the red silk scarf around herself as Brian opens the door. She winks and blows him a kiss. “Sex sells.”

Brian looks at me. “Is that really what you’re going with?” I shake my head in amusement at my assistant.

Annie ignores my objections as she wraps the scarf around me. “You boys need to live a little dangerously.” Brian laughs as she ties it across my eyes. The client would have a fit if he saw his beautiful work degraded in this way.

Ben appears in the doorway. “That’s a rather expensive blindfold.” I almost swallow my Adam’s apple at the sound of his voice. I drag the scarf güvenilir casino off my head. He stares directly at me. “Sexual harassment is a serious offence Mr Stacey.” Annie kisses my cheek and informs me I can sexually harass her anytime. I notice the dark flicker as his eyes narrow slightly at Annie as he sits the file on my desk before retreating. Brian is in hysterics.

My face is scarlet like the scarf. I shouldn’t have allowed it. “I’m sorry Annie.”

She laughs as she tugs the ponytail in my hair and winks. “Don’t worry, Mr Chalmers has a dry sense of humour.” It worries me how they all innocently worship him and think the sun shines out his evil sadistic arse.

Brian points to the file. “What’s with the favouritism? Hand delivered. The rest of us have to collect them ourselves.”

I shrug it off with a joke. “I’m better looking.” They both laugh as they leave my office. I re-listen to the tracks before I jot down some notes and sketch some ideas. I glance at the file Ben sat down. I didn’t realise I was the only one getting them hand delivered. I pick it up and flick it open. He’s forgotten to give me the brief. I reach for the phone but put it back down. I will ask him in person when I’m leaving. I lift my keys and jacket and wander down to his office.

The door is open, and I briefly knock as I stick my head in. Seeing him making out with a woman feels like I’ve been hit in the stomach with an anvil, but I keep it together. I apologise. “Sorry. The brief was missing. Can you give me it tomorrow?” I retreat and leave. My pulse is racing as I descend the outside steps. This is a good thing. It’s what I need. Still I mentally growl and brand him a man whore.

“Greg.” Fuck. I swallow as he shouts my name. I turn and look at him. “I can print it off just now. I also need to speak to you.”

I just stare at him. Is he expecting me to go back inside? He’s probably going to ask me about my contract. Up until three minutes ago I was going to ask for it to be extended, now I don’t know. I look at my watch. “We can talk tomorrow.”

I turn and walk to my car. I beep it but before I can open the door I startle as his hand touches my shoulder. “We should talk.” My eyes widen as his fingers slide down my back. My pulse is racing at his touch.

I pull the car door open and shake my head at him. “We have nothing to say to each other outside work. Night Ben.” I reverse out the space and leave. My heart is still racing. Fuck, what sadistic game is he playing now. That felt more than just someone touching your shoulder to get your attention.

The next day my ego takes a massive blow as he follows me into my office and closes the door. I discover he wasn’t trying to make a move on me. He just wanted to inform me Beth is engaged. I don’t know whether to cry or throw up. Fuck we only recently broke up. How could she find Mr Right in under 3 months? I know I’m more upset than I deserve to be. But it hurts that it could have been me she was engaged to. The reason I’m not, is this fucker. My eyes narrow as I glare at him.

I pace back and forth. This is all his fault. I need him to get the fuck out my office and give me space to process my confused emotions. He’s leaning against the door. I feel trapped. I can’t even go outside for fresh air. My pain defensively turns to anger. “You did this. You ruined everything.” He tries to grip my arm, but I knock his hand away. I don’t want him to be understanding. I need to hate him.

I glare at him. “You destroyed my happiness. Why Ben? For one lousy night that I barely remember.” He walks towards me and I use my full force to make him stagger backwards. If he hugs me, I know I’ll break down in his arms. Fuck I suddenly realise I just pushed my boss. My cheeks flush as we stare at each other. He’s moved away from the door. I grab my jacket and walk out.

I drive straight to the nearest bar. I shamelessly cry while I sit at the bar and down several drinks. I tell the bartender to keep them coming. I don’t care if Ben fires me for assaulting him. I’m going to quit anyway, once I’m sober enough to type a resignation letter.

At some point I must have unblocked his number because I vaguely remember spamming him messages on how much I hate him and what a low life relationship wrecking bastard he is. There must have been encyclopaedias of abuse. I was messaging for a while. My eyes twitch as my memory pieces fragments together. Nooooo!

I suddenly wake up and sit bolt upright. I look at the grey walls, dark curtains and bed linen and the guitars on the walls. I glance down at my chest and it’s covered in red marks and bruises. I lift the sheet. I’m naked. What the fuck! I glance at the figure sitting on the end of the bed watching me.

I angrily flick the covers aside, stand and collapse in a heap. I growl. Fucker has broken me again! He takes a step towards me and I glare at him as I hold a hand up to halt him. My eyes narrow in warning and he rolls his eyes as he retreats out the room saying he will make coffee. I crawl halfway across the floor before having a second attempt at actually standing so I can turn on the shower. I exercise my full vocabulary of profanities as I wash my fragile carcass and dress it.

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