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My daughter came home from school and rushed up to her room without so much as a ‘hello’. It didn’t take a degree in Psychology or even a mother’s intuition for me know that something was wrong. She was seventeen and things like this seemed to be happening more and more these days. Girls are so emotional at that stage. I decided to give her a little time alone to calm down. She would come to me if she needed something. We had a pretty close relationship and she rarely kept anything from me. I just assumed it was another silly fight with her friends or a disagreement with her boyfriend. My husband, Craig, was out of town so dinner would be just Erin and I tonight. I didn’t really feel like cooking and decided I would just order a pizza for us to share. “Erin? How does pizza sound for dinner?” I yelled up the stairs. There was no answer so I climbed the stairs and gently knocked on her door. “Erin? Did you hear me? How about pizza for dinner?” I asked. “Yeah, whatever, that’s fine,” she replied from the other side of the door. “Okay, I’ll order it now. Will you be ready to eat in half an hour?” I asked. “That’s fine,” she replied, still sounding upset. I figured she probably still wanted to be alone so I let her be and went back down to order the pizza. Once the pizza was ordered, I sat down in our living room to watch a little TV before it was delivers. Thirty minutes later, the pizza arrived and, upon hearing the doorbell, Erin came down to grab a bite to eat. Dealing with teenagers is a tricky skill to master. Over the years, I’ve learned that pushing the issue and trying to find out what was wrong would usually lead to Erin getting upset and telling me nothing was wrong. Somewhere along the line, I learned that the way to do it was just waiting for her to bring it up herself. She was usually dying to talk about whatever was bugging her but on her own terms. As we ate, I’m not even sure what we talked about – nothing notable, just the events of the day and maybe some things that happened at work for me. Suddenly, there was that silence and I could tell that she was thinking about bringing up what was bothering her. “So… Tony and I broke up today…” she said quietly. “Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that! Are you okay? What happened?” I asked. She and Tony had been dating for about 3 months and seemed to really get along well. “This etimesgut escort is so embarrassing… Promise you won’t tell dad?” she asked me. “Yes – of course! I swear. This is between the two of us.” I promised her. “Okay… well, we got into a fight after school because I won’t… do stuff with him.” she confided in me. “Honey, that’s terrible! He shouldn’t be pressuring you into doing anything you don’t want to do.” “Mom, we’ve talked about this before. It’s not that I don’t want to… or that I haven’t done some of those things before, it’s just that… well, he’s… he’s too big.” She said, embarrassed. “Too big? What do you… Oh! Oh my gosh!” I yelled. “Mom!” she screamed, laughing a little bit, but mostly mortified that she was discussing this with me. To be fair, we had a pretty open parent-child relationship and have had conversations like this in the past. Maybe not this explicit, but I’ve always been a believer in open conversation being the best way to raise a kid. The less they feel they have to hide, the more they will include you in their lives. “Sorry… sorry…” I said. Shifting back into mom-mode, I added, “Listen, Erin, you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And we have talked about safety before, so if you need female advice. We can talk about this without embarrassment.” She looked unsure, but then she just started talking without stopping to think. “Okay, here’s the whole story. We’ve been together for three months and of course, we have made out a little and stuff, but last weekend, we started going a little further. He… touched me down there… When he was done, I started rubbing him over his jeans. It felt really big but then we got interrupted when his mom called and said he needed to come home right away.” She continued, “We had to stop what we were doing and leave the party. I felt bad, so after he dropped me off, I took a picture of myself in my underwear and sent it to him… I know, I know, I shouldn’t do that! But I made sure my face wasn’t in it. Anyway, he responded with a picture of his own… and well, it was scary looking.” “Is that the first one you’ve seen?” I questioned. “Well, no… I mean, yes, kind of. Last summer, I touched Bobby’s at the movies but it was nothing like Tony’s! I didn’t even know how to respond so I ignored eryaman escort him for the rest of the weekend. Today, at school, I told him that it was freakish and he got mad and broke up with me.” “Honey, that’s a mean thing to say. He’s probably self conscious of it!” I told her. As I was talking, I couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t being exaggerated. Teenage girls tend to stretch the truth every once in a while. Hell, even if she was telling the truth, it was possible that he sent a picture he found online to impress her and it ended up backfiring. “I know. I shouldn’t have said it but I was freaked out. What am I supposed to do with something like that? I sure as hell don’t want to lose my virginity with something like that!” she said. Oh, good, she’s still a virgin! I thought. I felt like a good mother for some reason. We continued the conversation and I eventually succeeded at calming her down. We laughed a lot and talk about boys. I probably overshared some of my high school experiences but it was all in the name of making her feel better. It was probably good that her father was out of town! The next day was Friday and Craig was coming back that afternoon. I think it was all the sex talk from the night before but I was really looking forward to his return, if you know what I mean. Erin came home from school and seemed to be in a much better mood. “Well, someone seems to be in better spirits today!” I said, as she pranced into the kitchen. “Duh, it’s the weekend!” she yelled, “And… Tony and I are back together. Can he come over and watch a movie tonight?” “Of course! But none of that stuff we talked about last night in my house, okay?” I warned her. “Oh my god, mom! I know. You and dad will probably be in the same room!” she said. Later that night, around 8:00pm, Tony showed up for the movie. He and Erin settled in on the living room couch, while Craig and I caught up on each other’s weeks in the kitchen. I told him that we were going to be watching a movie with Erin and Tony and he seemed happy to have a relaxing night in. Shortly after the movie started, I looked over at Craig and he was fast asleep in his favorite recliner. Tony and Erin were snuggled up on the love seat, laughing at the movie. I decided to give them a little alone time and woke up Craig, telling him we should go to bed sincan escort since he was so tired. “We’re going to head up to our room, guys, goodnight!” I said to Erin and Tony. “Goodnight!” They said, in unison. I was hoping that would give Craig and I at least an hour of ‘alone time’ that I needed so badly but I was shocked to find out that he was just too tired from traveling. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. So much for that, I thought! Disappointed, I settled into bed next to him and turned on our TV. After about thirty minutes, I heard Erin tiptoeing up the stairs and entering the bathroom. I decided I would catch her on her way out to ask how things were going to see if she and Tony were back to being a happy couple. As she left the bathroom, I called out to her in a whisper. “Erin!” She turned around, a little startled. “What?” She asked in s whisper. “How is everything going?!” “Mom… it’s horrible. I know what you said earlier but after you left, Tony and I started kissing. I got a little carried away and touched him over his shorts. I panicked when I felt it and he asked what was wrong. I told him I was afraid of it and he got really upset. Not mad or anything, kind of sad. I think he thinks he’s a freak now. No other girl has ever touched it before, he said.” she confessed. “Honey, it can’t be that big.” I told her. “They are usually pretty standard. Maybe it’s just a little bigger than Bobby’s, but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it.” “Maybe you’re right.” She admitted. “Okay, don’t get mad, but I’m going to try to make him feel better.” “Don’t tell me that!” I said, a little shocked that she was being so honest. She laughed and headed back downstairs to the living room. I took that as my cue to stay upstairs for the rest of the night. I know it sounds ridiculous as a parent, but I’d be a complete and total hypocrite if I said I wasn’t doing the same things and probably even worse at her age. Besides, we had just confirmed she was a virgin earlier that day, so it wasn’t like they would be having sex. At least one of the women in this house could get some action tonight… I got back in bed and settled in to watch an episode or two of House of Cards. I looked over at Craig and considered trying to wake him up but realized it would be a lost cause. Once he was asleep, he was out cold and it’s not like some half-awake thrusting from him would get me off. Maybe tomorrow! About 20 minutes into the episode, I heard footsteps running up the stairs again. This time I noticed those footsteps did not go into the bathroom, but to the other end of the hall where Erin’s room was.
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